I realise that I’ve become increasingly paranoid, aggressive and a little bit crazy. I hear an unbearable amount of silence every day, I feel like I’m drowning in my own company.
Sometimes I hear things, like the sound of my voice in my head but they are not my thoughts. The relationship between the human mind and language is a funny one. One cannot exist without the other but is language a product of the mind or is the mind a product of language?
It is as though these concepts co-exist and operate in a cyclic motion. Do they need a medium to exist? Are they independent of the other? Does one control the other? Does language exist in the mind?
As one tries to convey thought into language - some of its semanticity is lost within the realms of the mind. Some things are not conveyable. Take for example, feelings. I can say to you that I am happy. Although you may recognise my happiness through my language and my paralanguage, it is not yours and you will never understand how I feel when I am happy.
So, the voices I hear - how can they not be my thoughts when they are occurring in MY mind? People are diagnosed with schizophrenia or some other form of mental disability because these ‘thoughts’ are ‘abnormal’. So, what is ‘normal’? How is it like to be normal? How do we fall under this category? We do not - I do not know your mind, you do not know mine.
So when someone says ‘I totally understand what you’re going through’ - they do not understand nor will they ever.